Steward Forgiveness

Today's "Walk in the Word Wednesday" is applicable for every Christian, examining a gospel response to brothers and sisters in Christ who refuse to reconcile and choose a self-protective path such as avoidance or attack rather than submitting to Jesus direction for reconciliation. 
​                                      WWJD?
When I see someone wearing a W.W.J.D bracelet, I usually ask if they will give it to me. Very few people say, “Yes!” Most often people respond with sentimentality, explaining that their girlfriend, grandmother, or someone special gave it to them. Every time, I jokingly reply, “Well, what would Jesus do? Would Jesus give me the bracelet?”
 
Having served as a pastor for almost twenty years, I’ve seen the same contradiction in conflict resolution. Christians often refuse to extend the forgiveness Jesus has given us, especially in the midst of unresolved conflict. The result is living like an inmate, held captive to past pain, bitterness, and anger. But the gospel gives us the key to freedom: loving our neighbors by forgiving as we have been forgiven - even those who are unwilling to admit their fault and unable to reconcile because of pride and personal insecurity.

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Stewardship: Forgive as we have been forgiven
On June 17, 2015, Rev. Anthony B. Thompson lost his wife when white supremacist Dylan Roof gunned down people during a Wednesday night Bible study in Charleston, SC. Roof intended to incite a race war, but Thompson was determined to forgive. Thompson’s campaign of forgiveness is breathtaking, ultimately prevailing in peace for both the Church and Charleston. 
 
Reflecting on forgiving the man who murdered his wife, Thompson said:
“Forgiveness was not for Dylan; it was for me. He chose not to receive my forgiveness. When I chose to forgive, God gave His peace.”  
 
Thompson emphasized that he was not saying, “Let Dylan be free” but rather “Let me be free!” 
 
The apostle Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” (Matthew 18:21) Peter wasn’t naïve. He understood human impulse to attack, avoid, or acquiesce when conflict arises. Just prior, Jesus had taught on conflict resolution (Matthew 18:15-17), and Peter sought guidance for situations where reconciliation is refused and sin persists. 
 
Peter, like many of us, was hoping for a measurable answer, something like a spiritual fitness ring he could close to feel accomplished. It turns out, Jesus views conflict not as a burden, but as an opportunity for gospel transformation. Jesus responded by multiplying Peter’s expectations: “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). Forgiveness, according to Jesus, is a continuous act of radical stewardship. 
 
Jesus illustrated His point through story (Matthew 8:23-25): A king forgave his servant an unpayable debt. But that same servant refused to extend mercy to someone who owed him far less. When the king heard what happened, he was furious and imprisoned the unforgiving servant.
 
The point: When Christians refuse to forgive as we have been forgiven, we become captives of our own bitterness, anger, and unresolved pain. Conflict is one of the enemy’s prime opportunities to divide, destroy, and derail Christian relationships (Ephesians 4:26-27; 2 Corinthians 2:10-11). Because Jesus has forgiven us, we must love our brothers and sisters by forgiving them… even when they refuse to reconcile.

Open hearted. Open armed. Open handed.
Stewarding forgiveness means being open-hearted to the gospel, receiving Jesus’ forgiveness personally; open-armed to our Christian family, ready for reconciliation; and open-handed with our own agenda, submitting fully to Jesus’ way of love and mercy. Christians do not live with clinched fists raised and ready to retaliate. But neither do we expose ourselves to abuse. We walk in love as Jesus loved us, forgiving as we have been forgiven.
 
The American Psychological Association notes the mental and physical benefits of forgiveness. But beyond personal benefits, forgiving others forges a path of blessing by bringing us into deeper intimacy and identification with Jesus. What did Jesus do when people hurt Him, abandoned Him, betrayed Him, slandered Him, and left Him for dead?  Jesus cried out from the cross, 
 
“Father, forgive them…” (Luke 23:24) 
 
The indicative reality of God’s covenant love undergirds the imperative to forgive (see Colossians 3:13 and Ephesians 4:32). Jesus even connected our forgiveness from the Father with our willingness to forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15). The evidence of receiving forgiveness is exposed in stewarding forgiveness, freely and repeatedly. 
 
The Command and The Conditions
Tim Keller’s book “Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” unpacks the anatomy of forgiveness and helps Christians understand how to follow Jesus’ command, even when conditions for reconciliation are not met. 
Keller helps us see the four vital steps for real forgiveness:

1. Truthfully name the trespass, not minimizing or merely excusing it. 
2. Identify with the offender. We are all sinners, not villains or victims.
3. Absorb the debt, just as Jesus absorbed our penalty on the cross.
4. Aim for reconciliation rather than revenge, retaliation, or retreat from relationship.

 
Keller writes, “If you omit any of these four actions, you are not engaging in real forgiveness.” 
 
Elder oversight of conflict resolution should always be first priority. But when church discipline is rejected and Jesus’ direction in Matthew 18 is ignored, my pastoral counsel is simple: Justice or vengeance is not your responsibility. There is a “just judge of all the earth” and you are not Him. Because your justification is in Jesus, you are free to love your neighbor through forgiveness. To keep forgiving. To not stop forgiving.
 
Jesus satisfied justice on the cross, atoning for your sins AND the sins of the one refusing to reconcile. Jesus will return and judge the earth. At that time, His justice will be complete and final. 
 
We cannot ask “What would Jesus do” until we fully embrace what Jesus has done. A faithful response to His forgiveness is to generously steward forgiveness, waiting in hope for God to open the door to reconciliation.  When He does, those who have stewarded forgiveness will be ready… for the glory of our merciful King and the good of our Christian communities.

Richly Dwelling
- Take a moment to consider the forgiveness you have in Jesus. How does this deepen your gratitude for His finished work and fuel doxology in your discipleship?

-Where do you see imprisonment in your life from refusal to forgive and reconcile as Jesus has forgiven you and reconciled you to the Father?

-Where, specifically, do you need to steward forgiveness? This is to ask, with whom do you need to forgive? Be specific, and ask God's Spirit to give you freedom and direction.

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